Practice Makes Perfect

I don’t believe “perfect” is the correct word…because I’ll never assume to be perfect, but practice does make us better. Case in point, author events where I’m not just showing up to meet readers and sign books, but to stand in front of a group to discuss my writing and publishing process and my journey as an author so far.

I attended this type of event last weekend, and I had such a good time. I enjoy meeting people who genuinely take pleasure in reading my books; again, it’s the surreal part of this process, the fact that others appreciate and enjoy the stories I come up with. But with practice, I’ve also learned to enjoy talking about my writing journey and my stories, so that I’m able to feel more confident in myself when speaking in front of a group.

Flashback to high school, when I had to take the most dreaded class of all: speech.  I wasn’t alone; I can’t remember knowing even a handful of other students who actually liked the class and what it required from us. It’s a necessary (evil) and useful class, I can admit as an adult, but as a teen I was fairly shy when speaking in front of even a small number of people, so the class was torture. Part of it was due to my shyness, while the other part was due to the fact that the subject matters we had to speak about felt forced.

Fast forward quite a few years later, when I was working as a private investigator, I was a member of a legal investigator association and I moved up from member, to board member and eventually to president. For a year in that position I ran almost monthly meetings near Seattle and had to put aside my introvert tendencies to speak in front of the members who attended the meetings and to introduce special guest speakers we lined up for each meeting. While I still had issues with speaking to large groups, this process was a great learning tool for me.

Stepping stones in life prepare us for what’s to come…

Now, I get to attend author events, I’m introduced as the guest speaker and I enjoy myself because I’m able to discuss a subject matter I’m extremely interested in and excited about. I’ve come full circle when I look back at my teenage self and how much I’ve grown when it comes to making speeches in front of large groups. I certainly enjoy myself now and I hope that my excitement about my stories and my writing journey give those who attend an enjoyable experience. I also learn from each event, so that I can make changes as needed to make the next event better, for myself and for those who attend.

But really, my favorite part of these author events goes beyond the preparation, the butterflies I still feel beforehand no matter how confident I think I am, the time I spend talking or the time I spend signing books. My favorite part is meeting new people, finding new readers who are willing to give my books a shot, and having a good time in general with like-minded individuals who just love books. Take a look at some of my older posts, where I offer a few stories: whether I’m attending a book signing, an author event, a book club meeting, or a fair, there’s no end to the interesting people I get to meet.

Meeting interesting people is a key highlight on a long list of highlights when it comes to what’s so wonderful about being a writer. Why would I ever want to do anything else?  J

Reading, journaling and photo challenges, oh my!

Clouds provide plenty of photo ops

It’s the last day of a long weekend, the longest of the year for most, and we now have another holiday under our belts and will soon be celebrating the next. 

But for now, it's a good day to stay in, so I’m enjoying this last non-busy, non-stressful, no-need-to-drive-anywhere-if-I-don’t-want-to kind of day. Yesterday I spent a full afternoon working on my novel and felt incredibly accomplished by the end of the day. Today, I am leaving what I do to the moment or mood and right now, I feel like blogging, while listening to Christmas music. Yes, I'm one of those people this year.  J

As we’re about to move on to the last month of the year, I’ve been thinking about where I am with regard to the goals and mindful intentions I made early this year. Will I have made good use of the 365 days as we close out another year? I’ll be posting my end-of-the-year update next month; some goals I completed, others I’m still working on or maybe haven’t even begun, but I’ll share more about what tools I’m using to reach my goals (or work toward reaching them) with regard to my specific mindful intentions for 2017.

In the meantime, the month of November was about spending time with family, focusing on health (there’s so much crud going around!), and writing.Oh, and reading, of course. And journaling. And taking in the moment to capture photos here and there when the mood strikes me. 

While I’m always reading one or two fiction novels at a time, I’m also reading the non-fiction book, Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert. I’ve already read the book, but I decided to join an online book club challenge and it’s the book they proposed. I decided I liked the idea of reading the book again along with other creative women and hearing how they interpret or relate to it. In the process I may have also found an online writing community, so that’s a plus.

I’ve also been working on a journal that is probably the most difficult one yet…I’m trying to decide whether or not I want to start a bullet (or dot) journal. Not what you expected me to say when you think of difficult journaling? Well, it is. I use paper planners. I love them…I’m a paper planner fanatic, sad to say. But I also make tons of to-do lists or lists in general, constantly, and not always in my planner because the planners don’t accommodate me in that regard. Which means my planner is usually full of loose pages of lists. So, I’ve been looking at the idea of bullet journaling, and began a “test” project for these last three months of 2017 to see whether I’d like it, or stick with it, before I decide to commit to a whole year. So far, the jury is still out. I like the idea, and I know it could probably be the best fit for me with everything I need to keep track of, but it’s a huge change from what I’ve been use to. Either way, I have another month to go; we’ll see what happens.

This time of year can be really stressful for many and lately I’ve felt an aversion to anything that has too much negativity, raging opinions or commercialization. I’m “this close” to unsubscribing from a number of people who clog my inbox with buy-my-latest-item emails and when it comes to social media, I’m more in love with Instagram since I first began using it. Rarely does a post on Instagram make me frown or cringe and I like using it to share my own photos. I enjoy taking photographs because it’s a great way to get caught in the moment, find the beauty where you are and enjoy time to yourself while you capture what draws your attention away from this noisy life. December is the time when we reflect on the year as a whole and I look forward to taking part in another December Reflections challenge by author/blogger/photographer Susannah Conway. This month-long challenge is a mixture of photography and journaling…so, of course, I love it. It’s also a great way to look back on the year, whether in photos or with journal prompts, in preparation for how I’m going to approach the coming New Year.

But now I’m getting ahead of myself – I’ll enjoy these last few days in November before diving into the month of December. 

Whether you read, write, journal, take photos or all of the above, I hope you’re able to find time during this busy season to let the moment or mood strike you in order to enjoy some extra quality time to yourself.

If I could speak to my teenage self, what would I say?

I took a break from blogging last weekend because it was my birthday – I actually took the whole weekend off so that I could spend a day down in Portland, a lot of time with family and the rest of the time I just did whatever I felt like doing. I even decided to remain completely unplugged from everything for three whole days: my computer, e-mail, social media…everything.

Sometimes you just have to do that – unplug to unwind and recharge.

If you’re like me, in the 40-something age bracket, you’ll know what I mean when I say as I get older I tend to let the ages blur together so that sometimes I forget how old I am. It’s not just that I forget; it’s also because I really don’t care as much.  It’s much different than when I was younger and there were so many birthdays that actually meant something: when I was 16 I could drive, at 18 I was a legal adult, at 21 I could legally drink, and when I was 25 I felt as if I was finally old enough for others to begin to take me seriously. Back then, the actual age meant something while now it’s more about how old you feel rather than how old you are.

Or that’s what we tell ourselves anyway. For the most part, I think it’s a pretty good mentality to have as we continue to age. 

My last post before aging yet one more year was about a book club meeting I attended with a wonderful group of women who I gained some much-needed motivation and inspiration from. In that post, I commented about how the book club enjoys digging deeper into the story behind the story. If you’re an avid reader, or you know an author personally, you know it’s difficult to write a story without leaving something of yourself in that story. It’s not always intentional, but whether the author intends to or not, it’s also not easy to prevent it from happening. 

As the book club group and I were discussing my books, one of the last questions asked of me was, if I could give my 14-year-old self some advice, what would it be?

At first, I thought the question was directed more towards what I would say to a teen about what to do to get into writing at such a young age. But, no, this particular book club member was not letting me get by that easy. She specifically wanted to know what I would tell myself, not as a potential writer, but as a teen in the middle of all that my young life had bestowed on me and in preparation for the future.

I answered her question from the heart based on our current conversation, and I stand by my response, but having thought more about it, I would like to elaborate on what I would say to my teen self, and other young adults, as they are attempting to figure out where they fit in this beautiful, but sometimes awful, thing we call life.

And here’s what I would say:

• Learn to trust yourself and who you are as a person - truly believe in yourself and what you’re capable of - always remember you are stronger than you think;
• Learn to listen to your gut instinct – we all have one, we just don’t always listen to it;
• Learn who to trust; keep those in your life who bring out the good in you; limit giving too much of yourself to others who only take from you;
• If someone has hurt you, whether physically, mentally or emotionally, knowingly or possibly unknowingly, or they have betrayed your trust in some way, try to avoid letting that pain and distrust completely define you;
• Don’t take the blame for the actions of others; don’t fall into the trap of wondering what you could have done, what you could do, or what you should do to make someone else change for the better;
• Don’t tell yourself you’re not good enough or that you deserve the difficult times you’re going through;
• As hard as it may be, work on learning to forgive the person, or the circumstances which caused that person to cause you pain, because the sooner you can forgive and move away from that place in your head, the sooner you can learn to trust others as you form new relationships throughout your life;
• If you believe in serendipity (an accidental discovery that is actually fortunate), then you may also believe there are some people who we are meant to meet at some point in our lives - you’ll want to avoid letting your past completely define you, or learn to forgive and let go, so that when you meet someone special who is destined to be in your life, you’ll be open to form a new relationship without the baggage of distrust or self-doubt;   
• Remember that you’ll never make everyone happy, it’s just not possible, and your life should not be about making everyone happy – that is not your purpose; and
• It may take time but try to find your purpose - what are you passionate about…what feeds your soul…what gifts do you have that you were you meant to share? – discover your purpose so that you can enjoy the life you were meant to live and remember to savor each precious moment of the life you’ve been given, for however long it lasts.

Would my teenage self have listened to advice from my older self if ever given this opportunity? I really can’t say. As teens, we tend to have this strange notion that we already know everything. But it sure would be interesting to know how things may have changed had I known then what I know now. Funny enough, we all say that at some point in our lives, don’t we?

So now I’m interested…what would you tell your teenage self if you were ever given the chance? 

Beyond that, would your teenage self have listened to the advice?

Book Clubs = Just what the doctor ordered

I attended a book club meeting yesterday to meet with a terrific group of ladies who are in the process of reading and reviewing the Jorja Matthews mystery series.  It was, by far, the most fun I’ve had as it relates to my writing in a very long time.

And it was much needed medicine for this weary writer.

Sadly, I’m not weary because I’m writing too much…I’m weary due to my continued attempts to do my best to try to write in the middle of all the chaos around me.  And feeling like a failure every time I’m not able to produce as much as I feel, as much as I know, I should be able to.  

When I set out early yesterday morning, I really hadn’t thought much about what to expect.  I knew the group wanted to meet me.  I knew they would have questions about me, the characters and the series.  I also knew I’d have to be careful what I said so as not to let slip any spoiler alerts.  As I drove the hour-long drive to my destination, I listened to music and just let my mind wander.  I do my best not to stress too much before book signings or events.  It helps to reduce my expectations, my fears and hopefully keep me from over thinking altogether. 

When I met the book club members, I felt immediately comfortable in their presence.  I’m not sure exactly how long I spoke to them about myself and the series…an hour, maybe two…it just flew by so fast.  I was pleased by many of their questions, both insightful and deep, and I was surprised by the direction some of the topics took us.  They were also a very entertaining group of women, with good humor and a very thoughtful approach while they enjoyed digging deeper into the story behind the story.

I spent three hours with the book club, speaking with them, signing their books and then chit chatting with a few before finally heading back home.  By the time I left, I can’t deny I was on cloud nine.  But, my euphoria wasn’t completely due to the fact that the club loved the series, my characters, or was happy to finally meet me – although admittedly that part is always fun.  No, my intense mood was mainly due to how this wonderful group of women ignited a spark in me that has been only dimly lit for too long.

And I can’t thank them enough for it.

Bethlehem Baptist Church book club

This just goes to show, or it reminds me, that we have to remember we can’t always do things on our own.  Sometimes you have to put yourself out there, whether you feel ready or not, and in doing so, you let others remind you of why you’re doing what you do.  I don’t write just for myself – I also write for those who enjoy my stories or appreciate what I’m trying to share. 

And now that the spark has been ignited beyond the dimly lit ember, I’m going to do everything I can to keep this fire burning.      

To the wonderful women I met yesterday, who truly bestowed upon me more than I believe I gave to them, thank you from the bottom of my heart.

This little Piggy went to Market, this little Piggy stayed Home

Sometimes I wish marketing books were as simple as a trip to the market.  Unless you’re one of “those people” who enjoy sales (my husband is one of them, thankfully, because I am not), it really is difficult to market a product when you’re not used to working in sales and, for many authors who are introverts, it’s especially hard to market yourself.

Marketing yourself means talking about yourself.  Bringing attention to yourself.  Saying “look at me!” and then sharing solid reasons why others should keep looking.

It can be exhausting work for introverts when your brain doesn’t normally work that way. 

I’m one of “those authors” who would rather just write books, share thoughts via a blog or Facebook posts and let the creative juices just keep flowing without the mind games involved with what it really takes to market what I’ve created. 

I’m the little piggy that just wants to stay home.

Don’t get me wrong.  Once a book signing or book club meeting is scheduled and the day is here, I’m all for meeting people and talking about my work.  It’s great fun and I enjoy meeting others who actually enjoy hearing what I have to say.  It’s very humbling, uplifting and surreal all at the same time and an experience that will never get old.

It’s the process it takes in getting there that can be difficult.  Not because it’s hard…but because of the time it takes away from writing.  And that’s where my problem lies…marketing takes me away from writing so as a result, I tend to remove myself from what is limiting my time to write.

That’s obviously not a good thing when you actually have a product you need to market and sell.  With the amount of new books coming out every day, the “next big thing” is always trying to become known and readers are insatiable when it comes to finding new books and new authors to read.  As an author, you certainly don’t want readers to forget about you but it’s also difficult to write fast enough to satisfy most readers. 

Marketing right before the latest book comes out is easy.  You’re all excited to share the next book so you do what it takes to let everyone know that it’s available and then you also use that time to reach new readers.  The problem area for me is marketing between books.  I’m sharing myself here and on my Facebook page but the book events and marketing techniques taper down and I’m much more focused on what it’s going to take to finish the next book over what it’s going to take to continue selling the books I already have out there.    

That being said, I do believe in the opinion that the more books you have, the more those books will sell your previous work.  There’s a theme behind the advice most commonly provided by authors who have been at this a long time…just keep writing. 

The key is to finding a balance – the balance between when to go to market and when to stay home.  Finding that balance takes time and for me will include learning what works best as I switch between doing what I’m comfortable with and trying something new when I venture from my comfort zone.  I’ll always be that little piggy who would rather stay home but because I have the desire to share what I create with others, I will learn to make the most of those days when I venture out to market.

What about you?  Do you find it hard to split your time between creating and marketing?  Or does it come easy to you?  If so, do you have any tips to help others you’d like to share?

A Special Book Club Meeting

I attended another book club meeting the other night and it was what will probably be one of my favorites for awhile.  This particular book club has members who are housed in an assisted living facility so the bulk of the readers are up there in age.  I honestly wasn’t sure what to expect when I attended but I was looking forward to it either way.

The facility was very nice; someplace I’d like to live if I were at an age where assisted living was a necessity.  Terrie, the Life Enrichment Coordinator, set up the evening with me and while we had good conversations on-line before the meeting, it was a pleasure to finally meet her in person.  She is someone I would define as a “kick” to be around.  Very funny, very personable and I can easily see why she’s so good at her job and why all the residents just love her.

The meeting was taking place hours past when the residents have their usual book club meetings so Terrie alerted me to the fact that she wasn’t sure how many residents might actually attend.  I should have realized many of the residents had early bedtimes and had I thought about it beforehand, I might have tried to schedule the meeting at an earlier time to accommodate them.

I guess many of the residents decided meeting me was worth getting to bed late and I was pleasantly surprised by the attendance.  Overall, I believe there were close to 20 of us once a few who were running late also joined the group.  The group was mostly women but there were also two men who attended.  While one of the men had not yet read the book (but I believe he will be reading it now that he’s met me), the other had and was very sweet when he held up his hand to say he’d read No Mother of Mine and was looking forward to the next book in the series. 

The residents were undeniably delightful and they were all very attentive and appeared to really appreciate my work.  As I think back on some of their comments and questions, I smile as I reflect on the evening but I’m also saddened by the fact that my own grandmother passed away before she could see what I have accomplished.  She would have gladly sat in a chair in the front row alongside the residents of the assisted living facility where she had been residing had I been able to speak about my book at the facility where she lived.  I know she would have been very proud of me. 

Before I left the facility for the evening, I met a resident who is the aunt of a Seattle-based author who recently made it in this business with the publication of a zombie book which was recently made into a movie.  This young author is certainly one of those Cinderella stories we hear about.  He’d only self-published three books before someone picked up the fourth book, published it and just a few years later it’s on the big screen.  Where the author goes from here is up to him but it’s heartwarming to see someone so young take on the dream to do what he has a passion for and be rewarded with such wonderful results.

It just goes to show, there is no perfect age for doing what you were meant to do.  Some get their chance in their 20’s while others put off discovering their passion until their 40’s or maybe even their 60’s.  Once you do realize you have a passion for something, don’t let life rule your passion because life is precarious and results not typical.  What one might be rewarded with after only a short time, someone else may have to work longer for but in the end it is through hard work, perseverance and true dedication that you will be rewarded if what you’re putting yourself into is what truly brings you joy rather than what you hope or expect to gain as a result.

And for those who decide to embark upon a journey doing what they’re passionate about, there are certainly those in your life who will stand by you and enjoy supporting you as you endeavor to reach your goals.  I have earlier stated that I began writing when it was the right time for me but there are times when I wish I had begun just a few years earlier, if for no other reason than to allow some of the most important people in my life who are no longer with us a chance to see me achieve so much with something that brings me so much joy. 

While taking part in a book club meeting at an assisted living facility made me miss my grandparents who have already passed, it also brought me joy and fulfilled my day in a way I hadn’t thought possible.  The residents may have enjoyed spending time with me but what they cannot realize is that I benefited from the time I spent with them just as much, or possibly more.  It was a special evening with special people and will remain an everlasting and special memory.   

 

A Book Club & So Much More

I sat in on a book club meeting for the very first time the other night.  When I think about it, I really can’t imagine how I have never been a member of a book club anytime during my whole lifetime of reading. 

An organizer I purchased when I once
thought about starting a book club

However, I did not attend this meeting as a member.  Instead, I attended as the author of the book the group read last month.  Now, this is something I really hadn’t thought about when I first published No Mother of Mine.  I hoped people would read the book.  I really hoped people would like, even love, the book.  But I never imagined a group of women sitting around in a cozy living room after a nice meal as they discussed my book. 

When I was informed the book club would be reading my book, it was just one more thrilling aspect of this life as a writer I’m getting accustomed to.  I wrote a post about An Author’s First two months ago and this happened to be one of the firsts on the list.  It is now one I can cross off my list.

So what did I expect?

Since I have never been a member of a book club, I could only guess what it might be like and it’s not a difficult guess to make…a group of like-minded readers get together to discuss the most recent book chosen for the group.  What they liked about it, what they didn’t like…what they’d like to read the following month.

But it was more than that. 

It was a group of ladies who have much more in common besides books.  Many of them have known each other for years, they have an effortless and unassuming way about them and they communicate with each other as a group that would give any outsider a desire to participate or wish for such a group of friends themselves.

Not only was the night complete with good company and conversation, it was topped off with a terrific dinner and dessert.  I should not have been surprised at how the evening was hosted.  These ladies have been gathering for quite awhile on a regular basis.  Of course they know what they’re doing. 

What I had to wrap my head around was the fact that they were gathering to discuss my book.  Really, it’s just one more surreal piece to the very amazing puzzle I am putting together as I continue on this journey as an author.  It’s a seriously amazing feeling.

When you’re talking about yourself and how your imagination and creativity works, it can be a bit difficult to explain but whether it makes sense or not to those who are listening, it is nice to talk about the process and how it ended with the final product being held in a book club member’s hands.  I don’t believe I was able to fully answer all of the questions asked of me the other night but it certainly gave me a better understanding of what to expect should I take part in another discussion like this.  There are some questions I wished I could have answered more completely and now that I think about it, there are some questions I would have probably liked to have asked of them.  An experience to learn from, certainly, and one I hope will help me if I get to experience this type of gathering again. 

I’d like to end this post with a very heartfelt thank you to the gracious ladies who extended to me the invitation to attend their book club meeting.  It was a terrific evening and left me energized with the excitement and interest the group displayed about my work.  I truly appreciate the feedback I received and I very much enjoyed the group’s enthusiasm.  It is that enthusiasm which further fans the flames of my passion to write.