A Novel Beginning: Week 18

We’ve finally reached the end.  These were the last journal entries during the last week I spent working on my book before finally completing it and printing it out for review.  It was during the Christmas holiday when so many other things were going on between Christmas shopping, baking, gift wrapping, having the kids home from school and visiting with family.  I’m now shaking my head in wonder at how I was able to even make the time to write.   

Week 18

Thursday:

Christmas is right around the corner and I have been very busy the past few days with gift shopping and cookie baking but also with writing.  I am trying to tie up some loose ends in my story so that I can print it out and begin the editing process.  My other goal is to have a copy boxed and wrapped so that I can give it to my husband for Christmas.  He has been asking for it and I have told little white lies so that he believes I’m not quite ready to print.  I want him to be surprised and in order to do that, I have to let him believe I haven’t had much time to write.  I have two more days to finish with some additions and get the ending put together.  I am anxious but also excited about how my husband will react when he opens the box to see what I have given to him.  I know how proud he is of me already but I can’t wait for him to be able to hold my first draft in his hands.     

Saturday:

I’ve secretly been working on my book, or at least I believe it has been in secret.  Whenever my husband has come up to my office to check on what I’m up to, I quickly switch the screen to Facebook or another website so that he’ll believe I’m just playing around and not working.  I don’t know if I’m fooling him or not.  If I am fooling him, I do feel bad but I really want to surprise him.  I have finally finished with the ending, as far as I’m going to get right now anyway.  I will have to add to the ending once I complete my first edit but right now it’s good enough to give to my husband so he can begin reading it.  I’ve been wrapping presents today and while I’ve been wrapping I’ve also been printing.  It’s a demanding job for my printer and it took quite a long time to print out all 366 pages.  It has struck me again, now that I’m seeing the book in print, exactly what it is I have accomplished.  I have spent the past four months working on this book and I’ve managed to put together a 366 page, 102,132 word document!  It’s incredible.  The book is finally printed, I’ve hole-punched all 366 pages and I’ve put them in a binder with a cover I put together.  Now, it’s time to put the book in a box, wrap it up and offer it up for scrutiny. 

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I gave my husband the neatly wrapped package after all other gifts had been opened Christmas morning.  I believe he was hoping to receive it but was pleasantly surprised because he wasn’t sure if I had been able to complete it during the busy holiday week.  It was also during this time that I showed the book to family who came to our house for Christmas dinner (but they weren’t allowed to read it) and when I made it known to the rest of my family that I had finally completed the book.  I had already made the decision to begin working on my platform once the book was ready for editing so on New Year’s Eve I built my Blog and published my first blog post, When Dreams Wake You Up.  Once the Blog was up and running, there was no turning back.  I informed family and friends and colleagues about my Blog, my book and my hopes for the future.  I was terrified of the response I would get from everyone.  But once again, there was a quote to help me push forward when I worried too much about how others would respond…

“Until you’re ready to look foolish, you’ll never have the possibility of being great.”  By:  Cher

The response I received from family, friends and colleagues was both encouraging and motivating.  The response to my future goals and to my first blog post was amazing.  There was only one response that caught me off guard, when a colleague responded to my news with the question…

“Why do you want to write?”

Well…you’d think that would be an easy question to answer.  But responding with the statement, “Because I love to write” just didn’t seem good enough.  Why indeed?  He knew I wasn’t yet making money with writing so of course, it wasn’t about a paycheck.  He knew I was running a business and had family and other obligations so that my time was limited. 

His question seriously made me think.  It did not make me question my reasons for writing but it made me wonder how to respond to any critic who viewed writing as more of a hobby.  Right now, the inner child in me just wants to respond by saying…

“Because I want to, that’s why.”

Writing can be a lonely business but living out your dreams is a wonderful thing when you have an unlimited amount of support.

I am thankful to have that support, of which I should not have expected anything less.

 

A Novel Beginning, Weeks 14 & 15

These weeks of my writing journal involved some time management issues due to the holidays but I was writing whenever I could find the time.  I was also researching more about writing advice, building a platform and how I would eventually make contact with agents.  The first thoughts of finally starting a blog came into play, as did the fear of making my writing life so public.   It was also during these two weeks when I realized I was closer to the end of the book rather than the beginning. 

Week 14

Monday:

I found a terrific new blog with some very useful information and the best part is he regularly writes so there are always new and useful tips.  My Name is Not Bob is the name of the blog, written by Robert Lee Brewer.  I have found many useful entries on his blog.  There are other blogs I have checked out and some I still visit but overall his is my favorite right now.  At some point it is apparent I will have to start a blog, rather than write privately here in my Word document but the whole concept makes me anxious.  Who would want to read what I have to say?  What do I have to offer?  How will I keep people interested?  All valid questions and what I will soon be researching before I decide to jump in feet first.

Tuesday:

I’m on the downhill slope towards the ending of my book and while that’s an awesome thing to admit, I’m frustrated by the fact that I’m not quite sure how I want to end one of the stories inside the story.  I had an idea but haven’t quite figured out if that idea is going to work.  It’s great to have a sounding board at home with my husband as he lets me bounce ideas off him and he gives me feedback, while at the same time saying, ‘now don’t let what I say determine what you finally write!’  I have to remind him I’ll write what I want…I just like his opinion and I enjoy discussing ideas with him so I can hear myself speak them out loud.  I have been writing without overanalyzing too much but now I’m getting to a point where I feel I am thinking too much and it is slowing me down.  I had been able to just let the story come out as it wanted to but recently there were some issues with the murder in my story I wasn’t quite sure how I wanted to deal with.  I think, now that I’ve discussed those concerns with my husband, I have a better idea of what I want to do.  If my idea is a good one, it will easily work itself into the story.  So, off we go…

Wednesday:

Because I am still new at writing and I feel I must learn from those who have already mastered the craft, I have been reading various books, blogs and website material on writing tips and techniques.  I have to say, I cannot take everything to heart or my mind will explode from all the possible ways I can potentially screw everything up!  However, I do take to heart what others say has worked for them and if it’s something I think is a good idea, I try to use it and learn from it.  I do find some writers more agreeable than others and I suppose it’s due to how I find myself writing anyway.  One of the details of writing where there appears to be some disagreement is how much detail to put into a story about a character with regard to their appearance or what they are wearing.  I have come to the conclusion that I don’t mind offering some limited detail, such as hair color, eye color, vague height and build…but I will not go into great detail about their clothing or other personal descriptions unless it is absolutely necessary.  I feel that many readers often know someone who is similar to the characters they are reading about so that they quickly form an impression of the character in their imagination.  As an avid reader myself, I really don’t enjoy having to focus too much on the details of a character’s description or what color pants they happen to be wearing at the time.  I do agree with mapping out in my notes a character chart so that I myself know what my characters look like, act like, etc.  But I’ll keep that information to myself and divulge what information is necessary at the time it is necessary, if it is necessary.  I will not, however, go so far as to describe the shape of a character’s eyes, the length of the lashes and the shape of the brows, which was actually suggested by an author offering advice on writing.  I would rather give readers the right to use their imagination so that they lose themselves in the story and not in the details.

Friday:

Oh, the holidays are here and they sure do throw a wrench in the writing schedule.   I’ve been able to write about every other day but really, I need to write every day.  For anyone who loves to write and who writes well enough to make a living at it, I am both jealous and in awe.  As my story moves along, I find myself already mapping together some ideas for two more books.  I shouldn’t be thinking ahead so much, maybe, but the thoughts are running through my mind and one way or another they have to be put down on paper.  Now that I’m getting close to the end of my mystery, I find myself looking forward to beginning another in that series plus a book on one of my new ideas.  Can I do both?  I expect writing more than one book is difficult.  When I write and I have to leave, especially if I’m in the middle of the scene, I find myself thinking about the scene, seeing the characters and moving the story along in my head.  Can I do that with two books?  I don’t know…but I’ll try. 

Week 15

Wednesday:

I decided to purchase some additional writing books today.  I have a number of them but these two books will apparently provide more information on building my platform, which is something I have put off due to fear of the unknown.  It’s also something I’ve put off because I haven’t yet gotten used to the idea of telling everyone I’m a writer and I hope to someday be published.  Some people will be surprised, others will not.  Eventually, I’ll have to let the secret out…I want to publish a book someday but until then, I will continue to write and write and write.  I think it’s the fear of failure that possibly stops me from telling everyone I know that I’m writing a book.  If you tell everyone and you don’t finish or accomplish your goals, you feel like a failure or maybe, you’ll just jinx the whole idea by letting the cat out of the bag.  I’ll have to trust some individuals who are close to me because I will need an honest opinion of my book.  Oh, the thought of letting anyone read it is…terrifying!  Do I doubt myself?  No, I believe I have a good story with likeable characters and an interesting plot but opinions about books and writing are very subjective and while I should take criticism seriously, I also fear that I’ll receive various opinions that may not only confuse me but make my head spin. 

Thursday:

I have one more month to finish my book if I want to edit it before entering some book contests.  I’m up to 266 pages and the word count (according to Word) is over 75,000.  I also hope that I’ll be able to submit my work to some potential agents but I’m not yet sure how I’ll go about that.  I’ve been researching and reading on that part of the writing process and I hope to come up with a list of potential agents I might possibly be able to send my work off to for review.  For now, I need to continue with a regular writing schedule because the holidays, winter break for my boys, Christmas shopping, my youngest son’s birthday, a funeral for my great aunt and who knows what else might come up, will certainly cause this month to be limited when it comes to the amount of time I’ll be able to write.  Life gets busy but should not completely dictate whether or not you have the ability to write.   It is, after all, life’s experiences that should give a writer motivation and inspiration to write. 

A Novel Beginning: Weeks 10 thru 13

Weeks 10 through 13 were quite an emotional rollercoaster for me with many ups and downs…

Frustration: I had an eye injury which limited my time on the computer; Satisfaction: once my eye was better I was able to get in some good blocks of writing time so that I felt like I was moving ahead at a good pace; Excitement and Anxiety: I entered my first short story into a contest, causing me a huge amount of excitement and anxiety all rolled into one; Grief: my emotions were dealt a blow after hearing about the death of a loved one; and Apprehension: after keeping my writing life a secret from friends, I finally gained the confidence to tell someone.

Week 10

Friday:

I truly hoped to finish my book so that I could enter it into a contest in November but I guess my hopes were a little high.  One major distraction recently was an injury to my eye so that I’m having a very difficult time working on the computer, much less writing.  Typing is difficult due to the strain it puts on my eye so I have to take time away from the computer for awhile.    

Week 11

Thursday:

On to a new month of writing.  I have bills to pay so I hope to be working more this month but with the holidays coming up it is most likely a possibility that work will slow down.  If it does, I guess I will have more time to write.  I should make a New Year’s resolution now because if I wait until the first it will be too late…I resolve to finish my book and enter it into contests the first part of the year.  Then, I will move on to my next book while I wait and hope and pray. 

Sunday:

I’m finally at 200 pages now so I’m getting close to being finished, I think.  I find as I write that I sometimes need to go back a few chapters to remember what a character said or did or who they spoke to and when.  The main topics of conversation and scene development are not the issue, it’s the little details I might forget about but which the reader will easily notice.  I am now working on a timeline of what the characters have done in order to easily track their movements.  I should have done this from the beginning so it’s just another lesson learned. 

Week 12

Wednesday:

I love my story.  I truly hope others do too.  I would be disappointed if those in the know say no to my book but I have faith.  Of course, I’m going up against others who also believe in their stories.  However, my book, once it is completed, will be an accomplishment, whether it’s published or not.  Only time will tell.  Until the book is done, it’s not ready to be read by anyone.

Friday:

Today is a holiday and I’m taking the day off…from real work anyway.  I decided to spend the day writing and it was a very productive day.  I think I wrote more today than I ever have and I even worked backwards and edited some.  I know I planned to wait but as I continued to write there were areas I wanted to touch back on based on how the story was coming along.  Plus, I had to finish with the timeline of what the characters have done/said already.  Now the timeline is up-to-date for future reference and I can continue to add to it as I write.  Overall, I am very pleased with the amount of work accomplished.  If every day could be like this, the book would easily be finished by the end of the month.  Life, though, is a fickle thing so I’ll just take each day as it comes along.

Week 13

Monday:

I received an email today from one of the magazines I regularly read.  The email informed me about a contest for a short story.   The catch?  The context closes tomorrow!  I went through my book of ideas and found one I thought I might be able to condense down to a short story.  Only after I began writing did I realize how difficult it would be to write a short story.  The limit on the word count was only 1500 words.  By the time I wrote the first draft I had 2500 words.  This was a very tough exercise but a good one because it gave give me a better understanding about how to eliminate words or phrases or even whole scenes in order to make the story move rapidly.  I spent most of the afternoon on the story, getting down to 2000, then 1700 and finally close to 1500 words.  Once you play around with something long enough you begin to question yourself:   Did I do enough?  Did I do too much?  Is it good enough?  Should I change it again?  I finally had to set it aside so that I could read it again in the morning. 

Tuesday:

I have never felt my heart thump as hard as it did today.  I finished my short story and went through the process of filling out the application.  It took a few minutes before I felt brave enough to click on “submit” and I was surprised at how terribly scared I was of the whole process.  What is it about putting yourself out there?  You want appreciation but you don’t want your hard work to be criticized so much that you decide it wasn’t worth it.  You don’t want to put all your time and energy into a project you truly believe in only to have someone tell you it just isn’t good enough.  This was just a short story, no strings, just submit and wait and hope.  If you win, it’s great.  You receive money and publication in a magazine.  If you don’t win, you don’t receive any type of criticism or feedback so the only negatives will be the rejection.  It’s just ONE contest.  There are many.  Will I have this feeling every single time I enter my work into a contest?  Do I really care that much to have my work published?  Do I really care what others will think of my work?  Yes, yes and yes, is what I believe the answers to be.  I will always be anxious about releasing my work, I would love to be published (who wouldn’t?) and you have to care what others think because it’s others who will read, criticize, enjoy, and ask for more.  I write for myself but ultimately, my work will be for the enjoyment of others, I hope, and it will be their delight in my books that I will greatly benefit from. 

Wednesday:

Last night before heading to bed I received a phone call.  Late night phone calls usually aren’t good.  As it happens, it wasn’t.  The call was from my grandmother to tell me my great aunt had just passed away.  My great aunt was 93 and she had a wonderful life, enjoying each moment and each day like it was her last.  My great aunt had a very, very strong faith and she had already made it clear to those she loved that she was ready to go Home.  It is the family and friends she left behind, who loved her so much, who will feel the greatest sadness because we will miss her company, her love, her laughter and her wisdom.  Her memory will live on because of how much she meant to us.  Strong characters like my aunt give writers great ideas for the characters they bring to life in their books.  Maybe one day I will include a character who is much like my great aunt so that I can share with others how much of a wonderful person she really was. 

Saturday:

Although I’ve told some family about my writing, I haven’t told any of my friends.  Quite awhile ago I told a good friend that I “wanted” to write a book but that was before I finally took the plunge and made the decision to do it.  I have had the fear of telling people, whether it’s because I’ll have to explain my desires, explain my future plans, try to explain I have more than a dream…I don’t know.  I’m sure most of my friends would be supportive so that’s not what I fear.  It’s just that I haven’t been willing to share that part of myself.  Today, however, I made the decision to finally tell one of my good friends.  She has always been there for me and will always remain a truly dear friend.  Whatever her response might be I hope she appreciates the fact that I have literally bared myself to her as I have done for no one else at this point. 

~~~~~~~~

It is weeks like these that can make writing difficult. However, my eye did get better, the contest was a temporary distraction but also a learning experience, I miss my great aunt, which is a loss only time can heal, and obviously, since the last post, I finally made my secret about writing known not only to family but to all my friends and now even strangers.  No matter what happens in life, we heal, we move on, we learn as we go and we even find the confidence to battle the doubts raging inside of us.

A Novel Beginning, Weeks 7, 8 & 9

This post includes Weeks 7, 8 and 9 from my writing journal.  I added an extra week because one week had limited entries and because I would like to get to the end of this journal sooner rather than later.  These three weeks I dealt further with character development, introducing new characters, the issues surrounding time management and my first act of bravery at finally allowing someone else to read some of my work. 

Week 7

Monday:

I am beginning to worry that some of the details in my story might muddy the water.  Whether or not certain facts should or should not be included, whether the character should or should not know certain information, whether the information can come out now, in a later chapter or in a later book…there is much to think about.  Today I am happy with the amount of writing I was able to complete but towards the end I began to feel lost.  Whether I was feeling lost with the characters or feeling lost in the plot, either didn’t feel good as I thought my character was floundering a bit.  It could be due to the fact that she is just beginning to gain the knowledge that things are not as she thought they were.  She doesn’t know it yet but someone close to her has lied to her.  How will this affect her later?  How will it affect their relationship?  After thinking about it, I believe I became upset as I wrote out the scene where the character lied to the main character.  This particular scene wasn’t what I had initially intended to add when I made notes on the subject of their conversation.  It could be this conflict that I’m getting lost in because I am concerned with how it will affect the main character.  I care about the main character and I feel bad about messing with her life.  It is odd to say but it is true.

Wednesday:

I don’t know how any writer can sit at a desk for 8, 12 or even 15 hours a day.  Working those hours would be very difficult and I can imagine that writing for long periods of time would actually be hazardous to your health.  I believe a writer has more issues than writer’s block to deal with (if such a thing even exists).  Much like a secretary who has to avoid the ‘secretary spread’ I believe a writer has to avoid a big bottom, if you will.  There is a saying, ‘if you don’t make time for your health, you’ll make time for illness.’  That’s a great quote to remember.  Writing is something I want to do but I don’t want to end up gaining weight or affecting my health because I’m sitting at the computer too many hours during the day.  Priorities are an important part of many aspects of your life, whether it’s regarding your job, your family, exercising or just taking care of yourself.  So, I am going to work on my writing but also figure out a way to keep myself moving when I’m not writing so that I maintain good health. 

Thursday:

I had fun introducing a new character today.  Not one that will stick around, I don’t think, but one who gives my main character a very important piece of information.  While I was writing, a new thought crept into my head about how I could switch up the story just a bit in order to change the facts with regard to an important event.  I mulled about it for awhile as I was typing out my scene and I finally decided to just let it go.  Again, having a brief outline is much better than a firm outline, which would be too restricting when thoughts like this come and go.  If I decide to use a new idea, it may change things up but not knowing what’s going to happen is what entertains me as I write.  I hope the reader will also feel the same way.

Week 8

Monday:

My husband has challenged me to reach 200 pages in my book by this weekend.  Today is Monday but I have case work I need to complete this morning before I can begin writing.  Tomorrow I am scheduled to be a guest speaker at my son’s college class in criminal justice so I will spend much of the day preparing for that.  At this rate, I’m not sure I’ll make it to 200 pages by the end of the week.  Life happens; however, the life in my book needs to continue on as well so I will do my best to find some good blocks of time to write and get as close to 200 pages as I can.

Week 9

Thursday:

I’m so disappointed with how life can wreck havoc with my attempts to maintain good time management skills.  I did not make it to 200 pages last weekend.  It has been difficult to set aside any good blocks of time to write these past two weeks due to other issues I had to deal with.  I think I might get through tough times much better if I can “hide” inside my book but the opportunity just didn’t present itself.  There may be more times such as this but I surely hope not.  I need to keep the story alive in my head and I need to have contact with my characters every day.  I miss the characters if I don’t check in with them every day.  That sounds funny; but it’s true. 

Saturday:

I’m probably just over half way through my book and I finally got brave and sent a portion to my cousin for her review.  Okay, I’m lying.  I only sent her the prologue.  I haven’t had a chance to edit the actual story and I’m not sure I want anyone else to read it before I get a chance to review it first.  Either way, it was a big step for me to finally let someone else see what I’ve been working on.  I’m so private and almost protective about my writing.  I have told some family members what I’ve been doing but I do not yet plan to show them what I’m working on.  Do I value their critique?  Honestly, not yet, especially while the book is still in the infant stage.  I don’t want to hear anything negative about my work yet.   I’ll wait to hear any negativity when it will actually do me good, as I attempt to make the final draft even better.  Right now I feel like a mother bear trying to protect her cub, willing to fight to the death to protect it.   

~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~

These three weeks of writing were fairly difficult for me.  Not only was I working with new ideas and feeling "bad" about upsetting the main character's life (although I was happy with how it moved the story along), I was dealing with a stressful time in my personal life and as a result the feeling of disappointment at not accomplishing my page goal for that time period.  Of course, the issue with time management is nothing new if you've read my other journal entries.  I may have been expecting too much too soon after writing for only two months and at the time, I did not realize it would still be another two months before I would finally complete the book.  However, it was my motto "Don't let life rule your passion" that helped me continue to find the time to write when I could and kept me going regardless of what was going on around me.

A Novel Beginning, Weeks 5 & 6

Hard to believe it’s February already but I’m not sad about it; rather, I’m very pleased.  I am in awe of what the future holds and I look forward to it with enthusiasm.    

I am busy with editing/rewriting so today I will keep it simple and post more entries from my writing journal.  It’s a bit surreal reading back through my journal; it seems so long ago when I started writing my book but these entries were only four months ago.  Much has happened since then, I suppose, which gives me the feeling that more time has actually passed. 

Today I’m posting weeks 5 and 6 from the journal.  These weeks I dealt with more time management issues (again due to weather), research for the book, character development, and the liberating feeling of not using a strict outline.

Week 5

Monday:

Research…it is important to the story but it can also bog you down with the details.  I don’t want to bore anyone with details but I do want to know what I’m talking about.  I’ve heard the phrase, “write what you know” but I think I’d rather “write what I like to read” instead.  It’s not possible to only write content you have firsthand knowledge about.  Well, it’s possible I guess, but it would be boring.  I’ll write what I know, with regard to investigations, but I hope to always add an element I’m unfamiliar with so that I also entertain (and educate) while I write.  The problem with research is that it’s usually completed on the Internet and it is so easy to get sidetracked.  Being near your email, calendar, Facebook, favorite blogs and other websites you frequently check on a daily basis can be hazardous to your time management skills.  It takes real discipline to stay focused.  Using time wisely is important to keeping up with a schedule.  Maybe I should conduct more research about time management... 

Tuesday:

I found a new website today offering inspiration for writers.  They also have a Facebook page so I assume daily inspirational quotes will be plastered on my Facebook page to get me going each day.  At least I hope that’s what will happen.  I’ll wait to see how inspirational the quotes are but from what I’ve seen so far, I like the site, they offer some good information and the quotes I’ve read are inspiring to someone who needs a kick in the butt every other day.  As I write I notice that a want to edit if I make the mistake of reading over what I’ve written the day before.  That is a habit I am hoping to break.  I just need to focus on writing and remember that editing can wait until later.  Every single book I’ve read on writing tells me this but it is hard for me not to review the work completed so far.  I can’t wait to read my story, make sure the flow is right, that the characters are likable and that the dialogue makes sense.  I’m training myself as I go along and I’m hoping I learn good writing habits, rather than bad ones.  Only time will tell in that regard.

Thursday:

I’m getting further into my story and I’m introducing new characters who will have some type of roll in the plot as I move the story along.  I like the characters I have introduced so far but I have come to realize that some characters might not make the first cut if they aren’t really necessary to move the plot along.  It seems strange to write someone in now when it is possible I might have to cut them out before they have a chance to prove their worthiness.   

Week 6

Tuesday:

I thought my busy schedule was enough to hinder my writing but it would appear Mother Nature also has a say.  On Sunday when I had a full day available to write, I was in the dark instead.  It didn’t seem all that windy outside but we got a ton of rain and eventually we lost our power.  Instead of writing, I spent the day on one of my favorite hobbies: scrapbooking.  I figured Monday I’d be able to spend the day writing but again, Mother Nature had a different plan.  It was very blustery and there was constant noise as limbs kept falling from nearby trees.  My fear that a tree might fall came true when I heard the loudest crack and the thud of a tree as it hit the ground.  Then my power went out…again.  Down the driveway I saw my worst fear, a tree over our driveway and the power lines.  Since I had a lot of time on my hands, I decided I would try to write longhand.  It’s much harder than I realized!  I know some writers write everything in longhand but that’s just not my style.  I switched gears and wrote notes about characters and upcoming scenes instead; notes I could look back on once I was finally able to type again.  I admire writers who can write their stories longhand.  They are not limited by the weather, the power or anything else.  They can write whenever, where ever and on whatever they choose.  I’d like to say I can change and make a useful habit out of writing in longhand now and then but I will admit that’s probably not the case.  I am a character who adores routine and habit.  I also like a schedule and prefer getting the work done in the most efficient way possible and for this reason the computer is my friend.

Wednesday:

It’s amusing to think I might not know ahead of time whether or not my characters will play nice.  For the most part, I do know ahead of time how the characters will react to each other but there are a few times when they have surprised me.  This might sound funny, I realize.   I just write and as I am writing, the story and the characters play out.  I know the plot and I have an outline but it is a very broad outline.  Very broad and very giving.  I cannot be forced into a “table of contents” and move along with the story based on what my outline indicates should happen in the story.  While writing, new characters have popped up, how the characters will relate to each other has changed and how my main character faces certain difficulties has also changed.  It is a unique experience, making people become real, giving them personalities and lives to lead and giving the story a life of its own.  I still have the fear that no one else will like my story but I go on with the belief that if I work hard and I enjoy what I do and what I write, then others will also.  Fear is the biggest setback when it comes to doing what you really want to do.  Jo Leigh is quoted as having said, “Screw the fear.”  Simply put and well said.

Friday:

Not having to deal with an outline is liberating, as I can write what I want as it comes to me.  Or, I won’t have to feel guilty if I decide to completely delete a whole scene because it just doesn’t “feel” right or flow correctly.  That happened today.  First time, really, since I began writing.  I wrote out the beginning of a scene which was going to lead to a crucial point in my book, when the main character finds telling evidence about a family member.  But as I wrote out the scene, it just wasn’t flowing right.  It sounded, and felt, forced.  I finally went back and started the whole scene all over again and the fact that the new scene was easy to write was a true sign that I was going in the right direction.  Having an outline puts too many limits on what I may be able to come up with or change at a later date.  Constructing a basic outline, I have done, but having excessive detail in the outline is too limiting to my imagination.  We’ll see how it plays out when I get to “the end.”

A Novel Beginning, Weeks 3 & 4

Happy Friday everyone.  I am spending my Friday still catching up on projects after being without power for just over a week.  It is remarkable how often or how long a person can get sidetracked from what it is they wish to accomplish. 

Some things can be helped, some cannot. 

Today I’m posting weeks 3 and 4 of my writing journal.  While reviewing the journal again, I see now how often interruptions threatened to hold me back from writing my book.  Read on to see what I mean.  I will apologize ahead of time as this has turned out to be a longer blog.

Week 3

Sunday:

An interview tomorrow for a potential job has distracted me the past few days.  A number of other commitments have also taken up much of my time, including some booster club work, a second job I had been working the past few months, school shopping with my youngest son and time spent with family.  In the middle of all that, I spent time researching and preparing for the job interview, as it is only the second interview I have had in the past 20 years.  I hate to say I just haven’t had time to write.  I had to switch gears so that I am focused and ready for the job interview.  I’ve been my own boss for the past 12 years and the thought of working for someone else is not my preference but certain factors beyond my control have forced me to look in to taking a different path.  I am optimistic that even with another job I will be able to make my schedule work so that I can regularly write.

Monday:

I got through the job interview pretty well, I think, but time will tell.  Now that the interview is under my belt, I need to spend time catching up on my case files and preparing for a visit with my brother and his family.  During their visit here from England, my brother and wife will be in Kona and my nephew will be staying with us for over a week.  I will do what I can to write but I’m not certain how much I will accomplish while my nephew is staying with us.

Week 4

Monday:

It has been great making memories with my nephew during his stay with us and I would not trade that for anything.  I may have been optimistic in thinking I’d be able to find time to write but that has not happened.  We have been keeping very busy, since I promised my nephew we would be doing something fun every day.  He’s 4 years old and has a lot of energy…I am 40+ and my energy level does not compare.  I have kept up with him during the day but by the time he goes to bed around 8p, instead of writing as I should be, I find myself flat on the couch dozing off during television shows.  Needless to say, I am now going to play catch-up and will try to get as much writing done as I can.

Tuesday:

Today was a good day and I was able to write without much interruption.  I have been putting together family and personal profiles on all my characters and I’m also trying to pick names to match each character well.  Now I’ve realized I also need to choose birth dates so that their Zodiac signs match their personalities well enough.  Maybe I’m putting too much thought into my characters but my characters are like actual people.  Without personality traits and other characteristics to separate them from everyone else, they will seem two-dimensional.  I realize Zodiac signs may not be a reliable reading into someone’s character traits but from what I know, they usually come pretty close.  Either way, I just want to make sure to add some real depth to my characters so that potential readers can find something in common with them. 

Wednesday:

Today I bought a new calendar for next year because it was labeled a “writer’s diary.”  Unfortunately, it was in plastic so I was not able to see what it contained until I bought it.  Although it will be useful as a calendar, I now realize I could have waited and spent less on a regular calendar later in the year without the “writer’s” additions.  There are some useful tidbits but not much I can’t live without.  I do wish there were more inspiring quotes and tips; that would have been the most useful.  Say, an inspirational quote or idea or tip to motivate the writer’s mind each day.  The few quotes found in this book don’t really inspire me.  One example is, “An idea, like a ghost…must be spoken to a little before it will explain itself.”  (By Charles Dickens)  Or, “Writing ought either to be the manufacture of stories for which there is a market demand – a business as safe and commendable as making soap or breakfast foods – or it should be an art.”  (By Willa Cather)  Okay, I get it.  But there are many other quotes I have found which do a better job at inspiring me.  For example:  “You can’t wait for inspiration.  You have to go after it with a club.” (By Jack London)  I just love that one.  Or, “If your ship hasn’t come in--swim out to it.” (By Mary Engelbriet).  Maybe I’ll just have to put together my own inspirational calendar…

Thursday:

Boy, when I do get the time to write, it’s great how much I can get done.  Today I was able to write most of the day and I’m happy with how far I’ve gotten.  I also spent time researching house plans to match the house I have in my story.  I love Victorian homes so it was not a chore to research Victorian houses and their house plans.  I finally found one I adore, with a rounded corner tower and a huge front porch spanning the length of the front of the house.  I changed the layout a bit to work with my story but I now have a good visual of the house the main character has moved in to.  Whether some think this is useful or not, I believe it is very useful.  I do not like to write about anything without having a visual in my head with regard to what I’m writing about.  I believe I learned this throughout my years as a private investigator.  When I question people, their answers put a visual in my head that I see like a silent movie.  Considering some of the terrible things I have had to interview witnesses about, this is not always a good thing but it is necessary for the type of work I do.  Once the movie runs in my head, I can tell if something doesn’t seem quite right as I ask the witness to explain certain details about the incident.  In those instances, I know when I need to go back and verify information in order for the scene to make sense.  I am then able to include those details when I type up my reports so that it accurately reflects what the witness recalls with regard to the incident.   I'm hoping that the abilities I have gained as an investigator along with a strong desire to write will prove to make me a great writer.

*****
As weeks 3 and 4 indicate, distractions are only temporary.  They may interfere with concentration, they may be a diversion, but they are not permanent.  The trick is dealing with the fact that distractions are constant.  Unless a person has no family, no friends, no job, and gobs of money to pay others to cook and clean, interruptions and distractions are just a way of life.  Time management may be difficult but to take on any project, goal or dream, it is necessary to understand how to manage time wisely when it comes to what can pull you away from your mission.  I will admit I haven’t yet mastered the task of time management and I’m not sure I ever will but as with anything in life, we are all students and only need to have the desire to learn.

A Novel Beginning, Weeks 1 & 2

This will be the first in a series of posts I will be adding to my blog.  These posts will be continuous, covering an 18-week span and will be posted at least once a week until I’ve reached the end. 

Are you curious?

While I was writing my book, I also kept a journal, which I have titled “A Novel Beginning.”  The journal was for myself at first, in order to keep track of what I had accomplished, to keep myself accountable and also to have some reference to look back on and compare to as I continued to write other books.  While my blog will share with you the high's and low's as I move along in the writing and publishing world, I decided I would also share with you the thoughts I jotted down during the months I spent writing my book.   

Are you interested? 

I hope so.

If you are, continue reading as I share with you now some portions of my notes from the journal, beginning with the first two weeks:

Week 1

Wednesday:

Writing a book has some fear attached to it, or rather, quite a bit of fear.  I finally had to admit to the fear I had about putting so much work into something, only to be told by someone or many some ones, that it just wasn’t good enough.  BUT you only fail if you do not try.  At least if you try, it is something to be proud of, whether you meet someone else’s expectations or not.  So, I began to make regular time to write.  That was the true beginning for me; making an actual schedule to write.  I had already bought enough books and magazines, already researched enough online articles, it was now finally time to make true what I was too chicken to say out loud: I am a writer so I will write! 

Friday:

I began to type, after fighting what felt like writer’s block right from the beginning.  Then as I began to let the words come, the sentences followed, then the paragraphs and finally the pages.  I had earlier planned to write a certain number of pages every day and I may not quite be there but my first sitting ended with 13 pages.  I felt good about that, considering how long I stared at the keyboard and computer before words finally flowed from my fingertips.  I do believe I can do better and I just need to work on finding the right blocks of time so that I can write a good number of pages per day.  It should not be out of the realm of possibility!

Week 2

Monday:

Tonight I was supposed to take the life of a character…and I just could not do it.  I was working on a particular scene and as I wrote out the scene I had already envisioned, I could not write the actual words necessary to cause the character’s demise.  Is it odd that I cannot take the life of a fictional human being?  I have other characters where this will not or would not be a problem for me but this particular character…well, I guess I wasn’t quite sure I wanted to write them out of the story as I first intended.  I’m thinking they might have more to offer if they stick around.  So I did not completely write out the scene and in fact, it is unclear to me at this point if the character will live or die.  It may completely change my storyline but for now I have not quite decided how this part of the story will play out.  For now, the fate of the character is unknown.

Tuesday:

My definition for the word “distraction” is “the worst adversary for any writer.”  Whether you have a job, a spouse, children, friends, dogs, cats, a house to care for, parents to visit, club commitments…the list continues.  The trick is finding the time and then making sure anyone in your immediate vicinity knows NOT to bother you!  What I’m learning from the start is that I might not be able to block out four hours in the morning, or three hours in the evening every day to write.  I have a business I’m running, children to take care of, a spouse to spend time with and other obligations I cannot ignore.  However, I expect to find some good quality time every day when I can at least spend some time getting my thoughts on paper.  Although I had hoped to write a certain amount every day, I have decided it’s really not how much I write every day, but that I do write every day.

To be continued…