Note to Self...and a Note to Create

I found this note I wrote to myself one evening when I was...in a mood.

Reading it over, I think it resonates with something inside me that others can relate to as well, so I decided I'd like to share it with you...

Note to Self:

To be creative, to stay passionate about what you create, you need to stay true to yourself.  

You need to answer the deepest and darkest questions within yourself.  Sometimes more questions will arise – but that just means more opportunities to write, to create, to find those answers.  

The characters want to speak. 

They want to be a part of your life, to share, to surrender themselves to the scrutiny of others, which means you must also do the same, in some fashion.  

You cannot expect others to understand what you are trying to share, unless you share what others might actually respond to, relate to, and react to, in some way.  

Listen to the characters.  

Listen to your gut.  

Create.  

Find that passion in yourself, in your work, your story.  

Keep it real and remember, no one has all the answers…we can only stay on the path meant for us and we can either give up, admit defeat and sit on the shoulder as others who create move past us, or we can answer the call and follow the path we’ve begun.

And always remember: follow your chosen path bravely and without reservation or regret.

What’s good about a drought? The growth we see afterwards.

You might not think September is synonymous with drought, or even growth, as the rain has already visited us and the trees outside are losing their leaves as I write this. But when it involves creativity, I will think of September as the end to my drought.

I recently attended a writers’ conference and while I may not have attended with any actual thought of what I wanted, the conference provided me with exactly what I needed. With a great lineup of speakers and a full day of learning, I was able to connect with like minds, find new inspiration, learn helpful tips and tricks relating to writing and marketing and most importantly, add a good amount of nourishment to my creative soul in order to fuel my passion for writing.

What did I learn throughout my day at the conference?

Here’s an overview:

• Useful approaches to great book cover designs – you really can’t deny that readers usually judge by the cover.
• Artistic Perseverance – remembering why I want to write and committing to that; consistently putting in the work while also reading, studying, and connecting with others; building my life around the necessity to write; and remembering that we’re not all perfect, it can take time and sometimes you have to surrender and move on to something else but to always remember my reason for writing and to never give up.
• Developing characters and crafting conflict – since my characters and I have had an on-again, off-again relationship for awhile, this class was well worth my time as it made me think about questions I should be asking while the characters navigate through the story and interact with each other. 
• Social media strategies – the presenter provided many useful tips and so many ideas about different tools to use that I have to find some time to check them all out, but I’m excited about utilizing many of them.  I feel like I’m starting over again, in a way, when it comes to my online presence and many of her ideas will really help me as I complete and publish my next book.
• Marketing strategies – this has always been the subject I dislike the most…selling yourself is not an easy thing to do for many.  But this presenter was excellent.  From creating a plan, to creating systems, investing in yourself, networking with others, creating newsletters, promotions and sales…and everything in between, she was excited about her work and she made me excited about it too.  She provided useful ways to tackle this difficult part of the business and even more surprising, she made me believe I can succeed, and possibly have fun at it, as well. 

With everything I learned from each presenter, what I really gained from the conference was this:  excitement. It is addicting. And I refuse to let that feeling go. 

The creative nourishment I gained at this conference has already caused me to lose sleep because I can’t wait to completely dig back the layers of noise in my head that have kept my characters muted for so long. I know this will sound weird, and if you’re not a writer you might not understand, but I feel awful about shutting out my characters for so long. 

The drought I’ve been in is over. 

Period. 

I’ve had a rough go for long enough, with a wild roller coaster ride of emotional ups and downs that has been difficult to maneuver through. The control freak in me has definitely felt out of control.  But it’s time for me to take back control of what I am passionate about, remember why I’m passionate about it, and make a conscious and constant effort to stick to the path I started a few years ago.

So long drought – hello creativity.

Have a great week!

Hello? It’s me…back up and running.

Summer is over, school has begun and we’re about to move into another season of weather and the parade of upcoming holidays this time of year brings on.  It is probably my most favorite time of year, the change from summer to fall, fall colors, crisp mornings, seasonal drinks and fun Halloween decorations in stores I can’t resist checking out (and playing with).

As we literally move from one season to the next, I am personally moving from one season to another, with more change and the shift into another new normal, yet again, that the past few months have brought me.  It’s been two months since my last blog post, but it was a much-needed break, considering the fact that I had to focus on serious matters involving family illness and the loss of two parents to cancer.

I have definitely had some struggles the past year and a half or so, since my dad passed away in early 2015, and while I attempted to find a way to get through my grief.  Writing should have given me some comfort, and sometimes it did, but my focus was difficult to keep under control.  This year started out a bit better but mid-way through we lost my stepmom to cancer and just last month, my husband’s mom also lost her battle to cancer (we already lost his dad to cancer, six years ago on today’s date).

Seriously, all I can say about cancer is that is sucks.  If you’ve never had a scare yourself or watched a loved one battle cancer, consider yourself very fortunate and pray you never have to watch a loved one suffer through this awful illness.

But this post is not about cancer or death or grief – instead, it is about moving on, moving through seasons, even the toughest ones, and coming out stronger.  I’m here to say that I am back and ready to move on with my writing, with connecting, learning, researching, creating and enjoying all there is about writing.  Life may continue to have its ups and downs, but if the past year and a half has taught me anything, it is that I may falter, or even fall, but each time I will get back up and continue on, stronger, even, due to what I have been through.  Another lesson is that we cannot really enjoy the life we have unless we live in and enjoy each moment, enjoy time spent with those who are still here with us, look forward to the future with optimism and resist the urge to live in the past.

“We do not heal the past by dwelling there; we heal the past by living fully in the present.” ~Marianne Williamson

To honor the memories of lost loved ones, I’m focusing less on the past, the what-if’s, and the could-have-been’s, and I will fully enjoy life by living in the present and spending time doing what I am passionate about.  Each morning when I wake up, I will have the attitude that I can make each day ridiculously amazing. 

The effort to succeed in life has a much better chance if the attitude is attentive, positive and motivating.  With this attitude, a person can do great things; and in the end, will leave them with less regret. 

So let the change in seasons begin, both literally and figuratively…because I’m ready!

It’s time to take a blogging break…

If you haven’t noticed, it’s been awhile since I last posted.  It’s been just over a month, when I was overcome with nostalgia with the onset of my youngest son graduating from high school.  I wrote about beginning a new phase in life, one that I was excited for even though I really had no idea what I was in store for.  I’m still getting used to the idea of not having kids under the age of 18, but more than that, I’ve been reflecting so much more about my life and what I expect from it. 

With this reflection comes change: a change in mindset; a change in habits; and a change in expectations for myself in order to find a good balance as I focus on personal and family matters while I also continue to work towards my goals.

My youngest is technically on his last summer break as a “kid” before he starts college and I’ve decided I need my own summer break, as well.  In order to stay on track with the process I’ve begun, I made the decision to take a break when it comes to blogging.  I may check in during the month of August, but realistically, as far as regular posting goes, I’ve decided to take blogging off my to-do list until September. 

This is not blogger burnout; it’s just a blogging break - which could help avoid burnout.  Sometimes you have to make the decision to step away from some things in order to focus on others. 

Whatever your plans or goals may be the next few months, I hope you enjoy yourself and have a wonderful summer.  

Take care and see you in the fall!

An afternoon reflection: As kids grow, nostalgia blooms

It’s a beautiful and very warm Sunday afternoon as I sit here at my desk, trying to stay cool in shorts and a tank top, while a fan blows semi-cool air my way. I would rather be outside enjoying the sunshine, and I was out earlier this morning to tend to my gardens, but by 11:00 a.m. it was just too hot. If not for my own sake, I had to finally head inside for the sake of my dog, Piper, who just can’t handle the type of heat we’re expected to get today (around 95 degrees). 

I don’t know what sort of summer we’re expected to have in the Pacific Northwest this year, and I do hope it’s a good one, but I really don’t want a repeat of last year with temps too high for so long that our whole yard was burned and crispy so that it was no longer enjoyable to walk outside barefoot. Greens were hard to come by so that the deer were desperate for food, even going so far as to tear my tomato plants out of the ground. 

We’re about to begin a new season, and with the beginning of summer, I’m also preparing myself for another type of season, or phase in my life. Our youngest is graduating high school this week and after 23 years, I’m moving on from our small-town schools, parent-teacher conferences, school dances, sporting events, booster clubs, and other school events. There’s a real mixture of feelings when you actually think about the fact that all of your kids are out of high school.

When our children graduate high school, we tend to look backwards almost as much as we look ahead. We think about how quickly they have grown. How it didn’t seem that long ago when we felt a mixture of excitement and fear as we handed them off to the teacher on their first day of school. How we tried our best to balance teaching them about life with letting them learn on their own. How much we worried about them and only ever wanted them to always have great days and good experiences. 

And we look at these amazing individuals who have grown into such wonderful human beings, and we are ever so thankful we somehow did more right than wrong so that they actually turned out okay.     

Am I a bit nostalgic today? 

You bet I am.

I’m also in a bit of shock when I think about the fact that I’m the mother of two grown men.

There’s a lot to be said about the change in seasons when it comes to our lives. From newlyweds, to parents with a busy family life, to empty-nesters who eventually become grandparents before moving on to retirement, there are a number of times when a new phase in life makes us stand still for just a moment as we take stock in what we’ve accomplished and what we’re about to move on to next. These phases bring a mixture of nostalgia, as well as excitement in what’s to come.

I’m admittedly pretty stuck in my ways and usually change is hard for me. But when it comes to change as it involves a new phase in my life, I feel more excitement than fear. Usually, we fear change due to what we believe we have to give up, rather than looking forward to what may be gained. While this change has caused me to spend time reflecting on what has passed, I am ready for this new phase and I eagerly look forward to the future. 

Whatever phase in life you’re in, I hope it brings you more excitement than fear.

Have a great week!

R.I.P. Bloggers with Burnout

During each season of writing, writers live two lives; their own and whatever characters they’re writing about at the time.

Life, as we all know, is busy. And when you’re a writer, living your own life while writing about someone else’s, you tend to feel pulled in different directions pretty much all the time.  In addition, there is all that extra work involved with author branding, the business of publishing, and the time you spend marketing what you’ve been able to create. For writers who blog, or are constantly using some form of social media or other means of staying in contact with their readers, everyday life can be very hectic.

I’ve been working on my own book series for four years now…having published the first book in the series, No Mother of Mine, towards the end of 2012. During this time, I’ve almost religiously followed certain authors and bloggers, always looking for help, researching about writing, searching for tips about publishing, soaking up ideas relating to marketing, or just hoping for some extra inspiration and motivation to get me through the week.

But lately what I’ve noticed is that many of my favorite bloggers and authors have tapered off from regular posts, or only write about one thing (their latest book), or they’ve lost steam altogether.

I recently reviewed the list of all the blogs I’ve been following, and I came to the realization that about half of them haven’t posted very often this year, if at all, while others haven’t posted for over a year or more. This really surprised me. I had wondered at the lack of content from some of my favorites, or the lack of variety, but I just had no idea so many had actually dropped off from posting at all. 

My take on this is that some of the authors and bloggers who I had been following gave too much of themselves, at least professionally, if not personally. They were always quick to share their advice, offer a free class, provide helpful tips and tricks of the trade, or whatever it took to keep people like me coming back for more. 

And I will always appreciate them for it. 

But in providing so much to others, my thought is how long were they able to keep up that pace while they lived their own lives and put whatever energy they had left into the next book they hoped to get out there? 

Being a writer isn’t easy – and sometimes living your own life, while writing about your characters’ lives, can be overwhelming, which is definitely something to keep in mind when you’re trying to stay on task. But based on what I’ve discovered with regard to some of the bloggers I’ve been following, it would appear it’s what you do in the middle of those two lives…blogging, other social media, newsletters, offering seminars or online classes…that can actually increase the possibility of burnout.

 

Times change, people move on, and what we need or what others can offer doesn’t always remain the same. What writers have to figure out is when to give, when to hold back to allow some breathing room, and when to move on if necessary. No apologies needed. Regardless of the season they’re in, writers have to find that balance in order to avoid losing the passion that kept them going for so long.

It’s just another lesson learned from those who I have respected for the past few years. While some of my favorite bloggers are no longer with us, or possibly just on a very long break, I appreciate the fact that I’ve gained knowledge that will help me as I continue on my own journey as a writer.

The tools I use as life shifts between busy, bad and beautiful

If you’re on Facebook, you might receive those posts reminding you of something that happened to you a number of years ago. Today, I was informed that I became friends with my aunt seven years ago…on Facebook, that is. In life, we’ve been friends much longer than that.

Lately, what these reminder posts have accomplished is to give me a little shock when I realize how much has happened in the few short years since this or that occurred. If I use this latest FB reminder to go on, the amount of change our family has had to adjust to in only seven years is astounding.  From one end of the spectrum to the other, from incredible highs to extreme lows, all in the middle of what life usually has to offer.       

I’m sure many of you know what I mean.

Whether life is busy, beautiful or bad, I was pretty good at figuring out a way to swim through the muck and get done what I needed to get done. For the most part, anyway – I still had those days and while I’ve always been organized, time management has always been a work in progress. But when I lost my dad early last year, what had usually worked for me became foreign, difficult to stick with, or just outright challenging to even attempt.      

During a recent reflective moment, I reviewed my blog posts for the past few years and I noticed a trend…2013 and 2014 had a good mix of blogs having to do with possibilities, positivity, productivity, characters, the writing process, staying organized, recharging, creative chaos, perseverance, distractions, patience, time management, editing, publishing, writing events and holidays.

My dad passed away on January 2, 2015, and I’m sure most would understand when I say that my process as I managed life became difficult for awhile. Posts for 2015 were less than half the amount than the year before and included the subjects of loss, writer’s block, feelings/fears, characters (when they were speaking to me), productivity, motivation and time management. But the posts related to productivity, motivation and time management were likely more of a pep talk to myself, as I continued to try to stay on task given everything that had happened.

I had to get through a lot of firsts after Dad passed away and when I finally got through the first anniversary of his death, something finally happened. I realized I was continuing to remain stuck in the past and that I needed to get my head back into the present. When a person is able to do that, especially after such a great loss, it’s a truly beautiful thing. 

Since then, my posts for 2016 have included these subjects: a new outlook, staying on track, clearing the clutter, book events, staying focused, characters, and the writing process. Some days, I have a hard time coming up with what I want to share (I’m not immune to difficult days) but today I wanted to share what I’ve been doing to help keep myself focused and on task. 

Most important is writing – 

Good or bad, just getting something down is really important – this quote helps motivate me:

Reading to relax and unwind.  

I’ve always been a reader but I’ve slacked on how many books I can get through in a year, so I’m finding the time to read through the pile of books I constantly keep adding to.

Continuing to learn something new... 

about writing, marketing, blogging, or whatever might help me as an author. Learning from others will also provide me with motivation and inspiration and it helps to learn what works, and what doesn’t, for others who are doing what I do.

Clearing the clutter and reducing the creative chaos.  

I’ve taken on this task in the past, but most recently I have decided my past attempts have only scratched the surface. It’s going to take me awhile to get through every room in the house but so far the amount of items I believe I can do without is amazing. I’m currently using Ruth Soukup’s book, Unstuffed, for ideas.  One of the most rewarding tasks to date was to really clean my desk. Not just dust it. Not just reorganize it. But to go through every drawer, every shelf, every tray and each surface that has become more of a catch-all. Once I was done, I was floored by how much better my desk looked and how less chaotic it felt when I was trying to write or work on other projects. It is unbelievable how much better I feel when I sit at my desk and now I can enjoy creating without all that chaos waiting to curb my enthusiasm.

After

Before

Paying more attention to what will calm my spirit and feed my soul.  

There’s much to be said when it comes to this subject. Being mindful, purposeful and grateful are extremely important and keep me motivated and inspired, and push my thoughts in a positive and productive direction, which will help keep me moving forward rather than looking backward.

Staying healthy – 

It's a hot topic right now and easier said than done when hurdles keep coming up but there are baby steps we can take…drinking plenty of water, getting enough rest, walking if nothing else in order to get ourselves moving rather than sitting all day, learning to eat right or in moderation with what is right for us. Now that I can begin working on my gardens again, I look forward to getting outside and playing in the dirt. Not only is it good when it comes to staying active, it’s great for my mind because I can work out so many character and plot issues when I’m gardening. And of course, we can all benefit from some more Vitamin D.

There’s more that can be added to this list and if you have any ideas, I’d love to hear them. But this is some of what I wanted to share when it comes to what I’ve been doing to stay focused and to move forward with motivation towards goals I wish to achieve. What I hope is that eventually these tools can help me shed the busy, reduce (or better get through) the bad and always enjoy what’s beautiful. 

Until next time; carry on, read on and have a great week!