Friday, May 25, 2012

Words with Edges

Words should not be spoken in anger.  Sometimes, we get so upset, so angry, so fed up…we just lash out and later regret how we may have responded.

Other times, it feels good to say what we feel and it feels even better to get it all out in the open.  We may regret some of what we say but it is overshadowed by the relief of letting it all out. 

Either way, it might be best to simmer on our thoughts and feelings and, before we speak or lash out, maybe we should write about how we feel.  Okay, that sounds sappy.  It’s also not very realistic when oftentimes our emotions take over and we don’t give much thought to waiting to express ourselves until we can meditate on our feelings.
However, to avoid any potential guilt for saying the wrong thing or truly hurting someone’s feelings, it is a good idea to first write our thoughts down.  It gives you the opportunity to review what you’ve written, think about it, stew on it, and grumble to yourself about it some more before you decide where your battle truly lies.  Is it with the person who upset you, how you were treated, what they said, how you reacted, what you said or what you didn’t say?    

Each circumstance is different, each offense is different, and each reaction is different.  It is what you learn from each instance that truly matters.
You may wonder why I’m writing about this particular subject.  Well, today I had an instance where I was treated in such a way that caused me to feel many emotions.  I was upset with the way someone approached me about something.  I was then put on the defensive when I was asked to explain my response.  And I was angry for being spoken to in a disrespectful manner which I did not deserve.  When I did not respond how the individual apparently hoped I would, I was questioned in a way that not only made me feel I had to defend myself but which also made me dig my heels in further and refuse to back down.

This is an example of what I call ‘words with edges.’  These words are sharp.  They hurt.  They can sometimes cut.  If the edges are sharp enough, they can cause wounds that will never heal.  I’ve dealt with sharp words in the past and some of my wounds have healed, while others have not.  The words I dealt with today were not the sharpest I’ve ever dealt with but they were certainly unexpected and I was not prepared for them. 
Had I not been approached in such an aggressive way, I believe things would have turned out much differently.  It may have ended in an agreeable way for all involved.  While I was very upset with the treatment I received, I am relieved that after saying what I needed to say in response to what I was approached about, I refrained from saying anything more.  I did not say anything I will now regret. 

While I am still upset about what happened, it is as a whole not significant enough to completely ruin my weekend.  But I’ll admit it did dampen my day.  I’m still learning as I continue to adjust to a new routine, a new job, and new personalities at work and I guess I’ll continue to learn and to adjust as new situations pop up.  What is important is that I learn from each situation. 
Thanks for listening as I write out some of what I’m feeling here.  What I have learned from this experience, I’m not quite sure but when new situations pop up, as I expect they will, I’ll try to remember this little bit of advice as I continue to learn, adjust and move on:

“When you come to the end of your rope, tie a knot and hang on.”
~Franklin D. Roosevelt~

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