Every…single…day.
Except
weekends. Boy do I love the weekends.
I enjoyed
weekends before when I was self-employed but I also worked from home half the
time. Now that I’m gone from home 50
hours a week, I am very selfish with my evenings and weekends. I prefer not to venture out on my days off,
as I’m still adjusting to my new schedule, and much of my spare time is spent writing.
Back to the
topic of work, this morning something came up so that I ended up arriving at
work a little late. Thankfully, my boss
doesn’t come down hard on me and it was an amount of time I easily made up
during my lunch break. But what this
issue brought up for me was how much I have had to change with regard to my
daily routine, especially when it comes to being available for my kids. Going back to work for someone else is
difficult, sure, because it is a change in what I do and where I work during
the day. But what is very difficult is not
having the last say when it comes to when and where I need to be. I either have to get permission or, like this
morning, apologize for having to readjust my daily work schedule at the last
minute.
I’ve said it
before and I’ll say it again…I feel very fortunate I was able to work for
myself while my husband and I raised our boys.
Although my youngest isn’t yet in high school, his and his brother’s
younger years were, I believe, that much better because I was able to be around
more often than not. I know their
younger years would have been much different if I hadn’t had the flexibility running
my own business gave me. That flexibility
also allowed me to actively be a part of school functions, sporting events,
field trips, the PTA, booster groups and whatever else I could get my hands on because,
for whatever reason, I just love taking on too much.
I think some
people may have wondered how I did it all…the secret is that I had control of
my daily schedule, not someone else. I
am great at multi-tasking but I do wonder if I could have been as involved with
the boys and all their activities if I had also been working full time for
someone else.
But it can
be done, right? Lots of women work
full-time jobs out of necessity and they raise their children just as well as
anyone else. Sometimes better. It may be the other activities which get
little, if any, attention. So what I’m
trying to figure out now is my place as a full-time working mom and what it
takes to make it work. While my boys don’t
need as much of my time as they used to when they were younger, I still want to
be there when they need me and on top of that, something else has taken over what
attention my boys no longer require...and that would be my writing.
I am a
full-time working mother and I am attempting to give birth to another child…well,
not literally, but I think of my book as my baby. I am giving birth to a new life. If I had to say how far along I was, I’m full-term. I’m so
close but frustratingly, the contractions I feel are only Braxton Hicks contractions. I’m very ready to finally hold my baby in my
hands and I know the time is coming soon but some days it is not soon
enough.
I was
able to write my first book while still self-employed and I am writing my second
book while working at my new job. The
two projects couldn’t be any more the same while also so very different. My first book was given what my boys
received, my time and attention while working under a flexible schedule. My second book is vying for my attention as I
work at an office job and am away from home most of the day.
While I
would never wish to use children as guinea pigs where this type of quandary is concerned, when it comes to my books,
it will be interesting to see how well brought up my first “child” will be compared
to my second.
As the saying
goes, only time will tell.
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